So this is my tale of one of the worst weekends in a ridiculously long time. My mom said “I’m sorry, but you know when it rains it pours.” I love it when it rains so I didn’t like that saying, it did not comfort me in any way, so although I thank you for the great effort you put out to console me, it was an epic failure my dearest mother. It felt more like my mom should have said “Well Tara, when you get bent over and fucked in your butthole without any lubrication it hurts like a mofo.” Then I would have agreed. So, I thought I would share my weekend, because many people, including myself, find other people’s pain to be entertaining. I mean I can’t judge those who laugh at my sorrows because I read in one of my packets today that one of my kids threw a rock at a peer and he chipped the kid’s tooth! I literally LOL’d and said my kid had good aim.
So my sodomy story will start on Thursday when I start looking around on the webernet for car insurance because I was told I was paying an absurd amount of money for my car insurance. After looking around I discovered that I could save $1200 by switching to Progressive for my car insurance needs. Then, when I excitedly told my friend I realized I missed my calling in life and was deeply saddened that I had not taken the car insurance commercial career route. But, I wiped my lone tear and went about my day.
Friday started normally. Then, on my way home I called Geico to cancel my insurance policy that I had with them, since I had switched to Progressive. The Geico representative then apologized and asked how much I was saving by switching to Progressive, I proceeded to say : “$1200 a year.” She said, “Wow, that is quite a bit of money, let me look into that for you.” I listened to the soothing elevator music that calmed me during rush hour traffic, and then she got back on the phone and apologized again. She then proceeded to tell me that I was paying based on my ex’s driving record, even though I had him taken off the policy in January 2008. Now for a normal driver that may not be a huge deal, but you don’t know my ex’s driving record. I will explain: He had an extreme DUI (blew a .24), 2 speeding tickets, and one accident. His driving record was worse than watching The View. I then asked how that could be possible as I had him removed, and she replied that it must have been an oversight. Oh really??? She finally asked if there was anything Geico could do to keep my business, and I chortled and apologized but said I had no interest in being ripped off, but thanks for all your help. I wanted use that little lizard as a death star and chuck it at whoever made the minute oversight. Then I went to my mailbox which possessed this little parcel from my HOA. I opened it to find a letter that said I owe over $600 and if I do not pay in full this week they will take legal action. I was quite upset because I had never received a bill, receipt book, or anything. I was also upset because I had called 6 months ago to ask when I would be receiving my first bill, with no return phone call. I tried calling their offices but they were closed, so I would have to deal with that later as well.
Saturday I woke up early after being out until 2am, for an air conditioner guy to come fix my a/c that has been fricked up for 4 months. He did and it was only $50, which was a pleasant surprise, but hardly made up for the jewels from hell delivered the previous day. I had a hair appointment that morning- in Phoenix as usual. Just so everyone knows- I always go to Phx to get my hair done because I get cut and as many colors as I want for $50, so even with tip and gas it is usually half the cost of a good salon. So I am halfway to Phx and my damn a/c stops blowing crisp, cool air, and replaces it with musty, warm air. I did not appreciate that but I dealt with it the last 50 miles by rolling my windows down and hanging my head out the window, not unsimilar to a basset hound I suppose. I proceeded to go to my hair appointment, things went fine, and then I got into my lil shark to drive home, because I had my mom’s bachelorette party at 6pm and it was now 2pm. I started driving and it was still blowing hot air in my face, pretty much like a blow dryer on low. Then, all of a sudden cool air came back to rescue me from my sauna-esque car. I was very happy at that moment, but my bliss was stolen from me mere moments after it was given. The hot air returned to attack my face. I kept driving, once again with my windows down, hoping that would help. It did not. Right before I was at Casa Grande, the half way mark, my car started to slow down and I saw that it was overheating. I began to involuntarily slow down (but then did so on purpose) and pulled over the side of I-10 and put on my hazards, and turned my car off. I called my mom first, as I do in any situation just so she knows where I am in case I get plowed over by some car. Then I proceed to call Progressive, which makes me laugh b/c this is the first day I have insurance with them I am in need of roadside assistance already!! (Side note, I remembered my roadside assistance! Reference Scary Movie Night blog). So, I am on the phone with them for about 30 minutes when they finally say that a tow truck will be there to tow my dumb ass car to a nearby Pep Boys, but it could take up to 40 minutes for them to get to me! So I then call my mom to give her the update, and I start crying. My mother says “Why are you so upset?” I said well mom it is 100+ degrees outside and I have been sitting inside my car to make all the necessary phone calls (b/c that was the only way I could hear), and my car had black leather interior, no tinted windows, and no a/c and no water, I was told my engine is probably blown, and yesterday was a day from hell. She says to calm down it will be fine. Wow mom, you are so good at consoling me. So 39 minutes later a tow guy comes, and I asked if I could pay the difference and have him tow me to Tucson, which he agreed to. At least he was not creepy and missing teeth. I got towed to Tucson which took almost an hour and a half (it is normally a 45 minute drive), was an hour late to my mom’s bachelorette party that I had planned, and was utterly exhausted.
That was my story, just to follow up- I did need a new engine. Whoopty friggin doo. But I make myself feel better knowing that I am saving $1200 a year my switching my car insurance to Progressive.
So my sodomy story will start on Thursday when I start looking around on the webernet for car insurance because I was told I was paying an absurd amount of money for my car insurance. After looking around I discovered that I could save $1200 by switching to Progressive for my car insurance needs. Then, when I excitedly told my friend I realized I missed my calling in life and was deeply saddened that I had not taken the car insurance commercial career route. But, I wiped my lone tear and went about my day.
Friday started normally. Then, on my way home I called Geico to cancel my insurance policy that I had with them, since I had switched to Progressive. The Geico representative then apologized and asked how much I was saving by switching to Progressive, I proceeded to say : “$1200 a year.” She said, “Wow, that is quite a bit of money, let me look into that for you.” I listened to the soothing elevator music that calmed me during rush hour traffic, and then she got back on the phone and apologized again. She then proceeded to tell me that I was paying based on my ex’s driving record, even though I had him taken off the policy in January 2008. Now for a normal driver that may not be a huge deal, but you don’t know my ex’s driving record. I will explain: He had an extreme DUI (blew a .24), 2 speeding tickets, and one accident. His driving record was worse than watching The View. I then asked how that could be possible as I had him removed, and she replied that it must have been an oversight. Oh really??? She finally asked if there was anything Geico could do to keep my business, and I chortled and apologized but said I had no interest in being ripped off, but thanks for all your help. I wanted use that little lizard as a death star and chuck it at whoever made the minute oversight. Then I went to my mailbox which possessed this little parcel from my HOA. I opened it to find a letter that said I owe over $600 and if I do not pay in full this week they will take legal action. I was quite upset because I had never received a bill, receipt book, or anything. I was also upset because I had called 6 months ago to ask when I would be receiving my first bill, with no return phone call. I tried calling their offices but they were closed, so I would have to deal with that later as well.
Saturday I woke up early after being out until 2am, for an air conditioner guy to come fix my a/c that has been fricked up for 4 months. He did and it was only $50, which was a pleasant surprise, but hardly made up for the jewels from hell delivered the previous day. I had a hair appointment that morning- in Phoenix as usual. Just so everyone knows- I always go to Phx to get my hair done because I get cut and as many colors as I want for $50, so even with tip and gas it is usually half the cost of a good salon. So I am halfway to Phx and my damn a/c stops blowing crisp, cool air, and replaces it with musty, warm air. I did not appreciate that but I dealt with it the last 50 miles by rolling my windows down and hanging my head out the window, not unsimilar to a basset hound I suppose. I proceeded to go to my hair appointment, things went fine, and then I got into my lil shark to drive home, because I had my mom’s bachelorette party at 6pm and it was now 2pm. I started driving and it was still blowing hot air in my face, pretty much like a blow dryer on low. Then, all of a sudden cool air came back to rescue me from my sauna-esque car. I was very happy at that moment, but my bliss was stolen from me mere moments after it was given. The hot air returned to attack my face. I kept driving, once again with my windows down, hoping that would help. It did not. Right before I was at Casa Grande, the half way mark, my car started to slow down and I saw that it was overheating. I began to involuntarily slow down (but then did so on purpose) and pulled over the side of I-10 and put on my hazards, and turned my car off. I called my mom first, as I do in any situation just so she knows where I am in case I get plowed over by some car. Then I proceed to call Progressive, which makes me laugh b/c this is the first day I have insurance with them I am in need of roadside assistance already!! (Side note, I remembered my roadside assistance! Reference Scary Movie Night blog). So, I am on the phone with them for about 30 minutes when they finally say that a tow truck will be there to tow my dumb ass car to a nearby Pep Boys, but it could take up to 40 minutes for them to get to me! So I then call my mom to give her the update, and I start crying. My mother says “Why are you so upset?” I said well mom it is 100+ degrees outside and I have been sitting inside my car to make all the necessary phone calls (b/c that was the only way I could hear), and my car had black leather interior, no tinted windows, and no a/c and no water, I was told my engine is probably blown, and yesterday was a day from hell. She says to calm down it will be fine. Wow mom, you are so good at consoling me. So 39 minutes later a tow guy comes, and I asked if I could pay the difference and have him tow me to Tucson, which he agreed to. At least he was not creepy and missing teeth. I got towed to Tucson which took almost an hour and a half (it is normally a 45 minute drive), was an hour late to my mom’s bachelorette party that I had planned, and was utterly exhausted.
That was my story, just to follow up- I did need a new engine. Whoopty friggin doo. But I make myself feel better knowing that I am saving $1200 a year my switching my car insurance to Progressive.
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